Maurielle McGarvey: What kind of person will I be?

There’s a crisis point that our late teens and early twenties revolve around, as we navigate the onslaught of adulthood and the last securities of youth. This crisis comes in the form of questions, the most important questions that we can ever ask ourselves: What kind of person am I going to be? How will I spend my time? 

I embarked on a quest to find some of these answers during the pandemic. Instead of the isolation of online school, I chose to take a gap year and embrace the uncertainty. In August of 2020, I found my way to Thoreau College, a microcollege located in Viroqua, Wisconsin. It was an environment unlike anything I had experienced prior, but I felt instantly welcomed. 

I allowed myself to flow into a new rhythm. Wake up early. Feed the chickens, feed myself. It was food that had never seen packaging, food that I could point my finger in the direction of where it came. Often, we harvested it ourselves. Mornings were for philosophy, for agricultural theory, for land systems and ethics. Educational, practical skills. Learning alongside people who truly cared about engaging with the subjects before us, made me realize how much I

had been missing. Afternoons and evenings were for the field, for fixing things up, for climbing very tall ladders.  Everyone, I think, was initially wary of these undertakings; however, the shared goals of labor tightened us. I slowly began to forge a new relationship with myself, with others, with the way I related to others. In 2023, I am proud to say that these connections have persisted. Thoreau College, and microcolleges as a whole, center community in every action. The shared experiences I have with my cohort serve as the foundation for some of the most intimate and joyful relationships of my life. 

On one of the brighter days in September, we all piled into an old van to a trout fishing spot, a swimming hole fed by a creek. Heat mixed with the breeze, warming the wings of warblers that flung themselves over our heads.At this time, we were still on the path to understanding and stepping closer to one another, yet in that singular moment, joy wrapped arms around our waists and pulled us briskly forward. The water was freezing. We jumped into it all the same, seeking to submerge into something that could transform them. On our backs, we lay transparent. Before my time at Thoreau, I had never known the world to be so mysterious and explorable.